”

Alex Salmond and I were standing next to a buffet overflowing with Scottish produce, – venison, Baxters soup, Highland Toffee, shortbread, heroin and salmon. “I’m sorry,” I said, “I didn’t catch your name.” “Alex Salmond,” Alex Salmond said, but because we were standing near the salmon at the time, and because he had a Scottish accent, I assumed Alex Salmond had said: “I like salmon.” So I said: “Yes. I like salmon too, but what is your name?” Again, he said: “Alex Salmond.” And I said: “Yes. I like salmon too, as I said, I like all the Scottish foods. What did you say your name was?” After a further 15 minutes of this, and in a prophesy of future national relations, I Like Salmon walked quietly away with his financial backer, Brian Souter, the bus magnate accused of homophobia whose fleet of vehicles may yet ship undesirables south.

Stewart Lee, The Guardian
3 months ago
  1. strontiumgirlcommando reblogged this from dimwittgenstein and added:
    That was a pretty good article, but when Stewart Lee writes columns lately there’s something missing, it’s really hard...
  2. dimwittgenstein reblogged this from naufragous
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